So, if any readers out there know us in real life, you know that we were expecting to be moving to Connecticut right after Derm Dad’s boards mid-July. Well, there was a whole lot of back-and-forth drama, but then we were told that we were staying in Maryland AND we decided we are staying in this rental house . . . for the next year.

You see, we were told that we were moving to CT, then we heard CT was not going to happen, but we could choose between one of four other places. We furiously researched ABM practitioners in those areas and real estate listings (all those nights furiously searching realtor.com) as well as specialists. Then we found out that we were in fact going to stay right here . . . but, the house we were and are currently renting (with a lease that ended July 2013) was on the market to be sold . . . for way more than we were willing to pay. Oh how we lamented and wept over the prospect of a do-it-ourselves move while Derm Dad was so stressed out about his boards. And then the dilemma of whether to rent or buy, whether to stay in this area or give up the relationships we’ve built here and move to the “farmy” area that beckons to me so sweetly. So when our landlord told us we could stay for one more year, we were thrilled! Even though it was just pushing the inevitable move and decision-making down the line.

I’ll never forget the time that I was talking to my friend Rose and I told her, with great drama, “We are staying here in Maryland.” And instead of shock, she replied, “yeah, you told me that last week.” And then I said, “But we were moving to Connecticut AND then to California since then!”

Fast forward a few months to when we found out we were pregnant and due right at the time of our next planned move (our landlord said he wanted to put the house on the market in April and we are due at the end of April)!

Back to realtor.com I went and I found the perfect house! It is full of character with the same 20-minute commute to Derm Dad’s work (my commute to Everett’s therapy would be only slightly longer than it is now) on TWO AND A HALF ACRES with a RIVER IN THE BACKYARD and A BARN!!!! Oh, and WITHIN OUR BUDGET!!!! We wanted to move now because Derm Dad has three weeks off work for the holidays so we thought we could do a laid-back move before the baby comes rather than have to scramble to move with a newborn – because this house is being sold (for real this time) in the spring/summer of 2014.

But, when we called our landlord to give our notice he got really upset and said that we couldn’t leave the house vacant in the middle of winter when he did us a favor to let us stay instead of making us move last July when Derm Dad was studying for the boards. Even though we have no actual lease with him, we thought he made a good point. So, we are not moving to the amazing house =(

Oh, and our house in Mystic is still vacant and our realtor there recommends we list it – for almost what we owe (to say nothing of our $20K down payment, or the almost $50K as well as blood, sweat and tears that we put into it). If anyone says that real estate is a good investment, I’m going to punch them in the face. So, yes, technically we can afford to keep paying the mortgage for awhile, but it’s just not how either of us had planned to spend our savings and retirement.

Good times, I tell you. Well, good lessons in being flexible anyways. What is being flexible, exactly? I think it is just trusting God. And that is actually an element of submission to God and God’s ways of rocking my world. And that is the challenge, isn’t it? It’s remembering the important difference between OUR PART and GOD’S PART.

I mean, we are supposed to plan (choose appropriate doctors, try to find a house to live in, schedule therapy, etc. . . . ) but we just aren’t allowed to get attached to any particular outcome or plan. We need to prepare the horse for battle, but we can never forget that the battle is the Lord’s - i.e. we do the work faithfully, but the responsibility for the outcome is God’s. This is the lesson that I am learning these days. My part and His part. His plan, not mine. And once I can release the outcome that I am grasping so tightly, I can see the freedom in letting God take the responsibility for the outcome. Because if I’m honest I can not handle that responsibility!! I wasn’t built for it. And yet, I feel like one of the unique ways that God has made me is that I’m a visionary. By that I mean that I LOVE to do lots of research and get the big picture so that I can have a framework to filter my smaller decisions through. For example before Adele was born, I had a plan for which child training principles we would use and I knew that we would homeschool using Charlotte Mason before she was one year old. And I do think it’s absolutely critical to be intentional about these kinds of things because otherwise you just make decisions based on the moment and put out fires as they happen – you never make any progress toward a goal because you don’t have any clear goals to work toward. BUT, my problem is when I’ve done all this research, and I have all this information (and hopefully wisdom too), I then think that I have some control over the outcome of the situation and the timing of the outcome.

I’m still thinking about this, so please do share in the comments.

In other news, I made a “standing desk” since I’ve read about the perils of too much sitting, and I really like it. It’s pretty and if my feet hurt I move along to something else (thus keeping my computer time in check).