Christianity

My life is about to get a whole lot more complicated – DEPLOYMENT NEWS

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Eleanor is cruising now – she went all the way around the table. She will pull up on anything and everything. The problem is when she pulls up on a moving object – like a person’s leg and the person doesn’t realize she’s there. IMG_2306

Adelie-wellie takes very good care of her babiesIMG_2307

Everett got glasses. He actually got glasses about two years ago, but he never wore them. When a second eye exam yielded a drastically stronger prescription, we decided to try again. So far he is doing really well with keeping them on – as long as he is supervised. As soon as we turn our backs, however, they disappear. We are hoping that they will help him brain process what his eyes bring in and maybe even motivate Everett to be more mobile (i.e. be motivated to go over to something that he could never see before). Everett’s speech continues to improve each day. We are continuing to optimize his supplement regime (now we are starting glandulars!) and we are planning to start hyperbaric oxygen chamber sessions in a few weeks.

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So, my big news is that Kent might be deploying for six months on a humanitarian mission – leaving in less than six weeks. It’s complicated, but we don’t know for sure – with the military nothing is really certain anyway. Kent and I have never been separated for more than two weeks in the eight years we’ve been married. And, our part-time nanny stopped working for us last week! Nothing bad happened — she was asked to work full-time for the other family she works for and they need her more than we do (we originally hired her to help me – and Everett –  right after the baby was born, but it just worked so well for her to take Everett to therapy that we kept it up). It is tempting to try to feel bad for myself, but there are many things to be grateful for. One, that we haven’t had a deployment up to this point, which has allowed us to invest in our marriage while it was in its infancy. Two, that it is a relatively short deployment – many people we know have deployments of one year or more, not counting many months of out-of-town training before-hand. Third, the work should be interesting and enjoyable for Kent – Kent took a class on tropical medicine and he expects to see a lot of that on the deployment. Also, if God wants to use us on the mission field (and we hope He does) after Kent’s time in the Navy, this would be useful preparatory work. Finally, God has always been faithful, sufficient, and good in the past, so I know He will continue to be exactly what He is – even while Kent is away.

We’ll see how long I can keep up with Everett’s therapy intensives every week (2-4 days every week) – our nanny had been driving him since we had Eleanor. It is challenging for me to get all four of us out of the house by 7am with breakfast and snacks for everyone, diapers for two, changes of clothes for two, Everett’s therapy stuff (braces for ankles and elbow, restraint for left arm, etc.), books and baby dolls to keep Adele occupied, toys for Eleanor, etc., and then being out of the house for four to five hours each day (which sacrifices Eleanor’s morning nap). . . . I know other moms do even more than this regularly, but I really prefer to not leave the house during the day at all.

I’m looking forward to knowing and loving God more during this upcoming challenge!

Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, Love All

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How did Jesus celebrate? He gave Himself relationally – time, space, presence

Let’s buy fewer GIFTS (that the recipient doesn’t need and won’t even remember after a few months) and, instead, give our TIME. Let’s talk, eat, sled, bake, bike, read, play, create, craft, and ice skate TOGETHER!

Or, we can MAKE gifts ourselves.

Then, give away the money we would have spent to help people who will remember it for the rest of their lives (people in poverty).

If you don’t know where to go to help people in poverty, I can recommend World Vision. We started buying livestock and things like that a few years ago. I’d love to be like Ann Voskamp’s family who only gives gifts from charities like World Vision – i.e. no gifts exchanged among family members, just gifts given “to Jesus” i.e. to the poor, in Jesus’ name.

Living Room Update – October 2014

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I finally figured out what to do above the mantle – that’s right, enormous chalkboard! This is the huge piece of MDF that Kent bought for me for my DIY aquaboard project. I didn’t like how the painting was turning out and I really didn’t want to commit to a single piece of art. And, this room is pretty neutral and monochromatic, so all the paintings I liked had lots of color, which I didn’t really want in here. So, I bought some chalkboard paint and . . . big, black chalkboard + bible verses that I can change on a whim = an inexpensive win, win!

I am still displaying the eucharisteo banner because, well, I still need the reminder. I added a some pom-poms for a little (quick, easy, and free!) pep.P1060153P1060152 P1060150

Here’s a shot of the north wall with the French doors that lead to the non-deck. And, you can see the brown ottomans flanking the fireplace – we use them for toy storage, but they double as extra seating (moved forward in front of the fireplace) when we have a crowd over.

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I’d still like to move the Queen Anne chair and ottoman up to our bedroom and get a neutral chair in here that doesn’t need to be covered in a sheet.

Something like this:

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But I’m waiting for the green light from the hubster. =)

You can see where we started with this room HERE.

Bonding with [not-yet-born] baby #3 (therablogging from the past)

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I came across this post in my drafts folder and I don’t remember why I never published it. Maybe I was feeling too emotional about the possibility of losing our baby? Well, our adorable Eleanor Chara is three months old now and so far she’s totally healthy, so I thought I’d go ahead and post this (belatedly). I guess I’m hoping that it might help someone else who might be feeling the same way to not feel so alone.

date: April 2014

I have been working really hard to get our house “settled” or “ready” for the new baby, which I think is part of “nesting” — but I don’t feel like I have really “bonded” with this baby yet. With both Adele and Everett, I felt like I knew them a little when they were born. This time, despite my alarmingly huge belly, I don’t even feel like we are actually going to have a real baby. I think it is because we had some drama with Everett that I am really aware that things can go wrong, that there are no promises that this baby will live or be healthy, so I think I’ve been a bit detached. Early in the pregnancy (although I didn’t really talk about it with anyone) I kind of assumed I would have a miscarriage. I’ve never had a miscarriage before, but I just felt unbonded to the baby early on so I thought it was God’s way of making it easier on me when the baby died. Well, here we are, just two days from my due date, and the baby is still here and kicking. For those of you who don’t know me in real life or don’t know the story, when Everett was one month old, he was crying uncontrollably and had a really low fever – but enough to be a concern in a baby so young – so we took him to the ER. That was Thursday night and they couldn’t find anything wrong with him so they sent us home. The next day we took him to the pediatrician and he just wasn’t acting right – lots of crying, wouldn’t eat, etc. They ran some blood tests and did a CT scan. The scan showed a bleed in his brain and they told us they were going to helicopter him to Children’s Hospital. They didn’t really want us in the helicopter (I might have been a little bit hysterical), so we got in the car to meet them there. On the way, Everett stopped breathing and had to be intubated (which also means majorly sedated). The next morning he started having seizures so they performed a craniotomy and tried to evacuate the blood that was putting lots of pressure on his brain. They told us that there were a lot of risks for brain surgery on a baby so small — they said it would be very easy for him to bleed out because it’s very difficult to get blood in him as fast as it comes out. Well, our little Everett Dunamis (Everett means brave strong boar and Dunamis means power) was powerful, brave and strong and LIVED through the surgery! Long story short, lots of drama, lots of doctors, lots of tubes and machines hooked up to our new little baby for two weeks until we were released from the hospital. And it’s not like everything’s fine now, you know. I mean, yes, everything is fine, but Everett has cerebral palsy and nobody knows how much it is going to affect him as he gets older. He’s almost three and still not sitting (although he is getting closer!) and not crawling (although he is doing a version of an army crawl!). Everett does make progress every day and he’s such a sweet boy! I love him so much and I am so grateful that I get to be his mom. I am just relating this because I’m trying to figure out why I don’t really feel pregnant this time around – therablogging =).

I don’t know if other moms who have had children with health issues have felt this way with subsequent pregnancies or if it’s just me. In fact, maybe it is all in my head, but I notice that most moms who have special needs kids don’t have any more children – maybe because they want to give their full attention to the special needs child or maybe because they are afraid that the next baby could have problems too. Or maybe they wouldn’t have had more kids even if the child didn’t have special needs. I am trying to have the perspective that Everett is part of a family, so not everything can or should be about him. I try to do as much as I can for him while balancing that with the needs of the rest of us.

For my whole life, I’ve been an eternal optimist and honestly never even considered the possibility that anything bad could happen in my life. I took it for granted that my children would be born completely healthy and everything would be peachy! Well, I still consider myself an optimist, but I think I’ve been mellowed out a bit by some challenging circumstances. Because I know that God is good and He works all things in my life for good, I don’t have any fear for the future. I know that He will still love me and take care of me. And I also know that God loved Everett even more than I do (which is a LOT!) and God will always take care of him.

Then again, I could just be analyzing this way too much. It could be that I can’t picture the new baby because we didn’t find out the gender this time, so I don’t know the baby’s name, etc.

Eucharisteo – the spiritual battle

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**I am reposting this because I want to explain this strange word that I keep throwing around here on the blog.

Eucharisteo is a Greek word that basically means gratitude/thanksgiving. But it’s so much more than that! It’s not just being grateful for things that we perceive as “good” but for everything, because God tells us to give thanks “in all things” and He also tells us that He works “all things” for good (to them that are called according to His purpose), so in essence, He is saying that all things – even trials and really hard things – ARE good, so we should thank Him for them. This is one manifestation of trusting Him, which is the same thing as believing in Him, which is the same thing as having faith in Him. I HIGHLY recommend One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (which is where I first learned about this wonderful concept of eucharisteo).

I asked Derm Dad to read this article:

http://www.visionarywomanhood.com/raising-children-war/

After reading it, he asked me, “What’s our battle? And are we fighting it?”

I said, “I think our battle is for eucharisteo. Satan wants us to be ungrateful, to question whether God is really good. When we choose contentment, even in the hard things, that is the Spiritual victory.”

Everett in the PICU, 2011. As bad as this picture looks, living in the hospital for two weeks, praying that he would survive the craniotomy, praying he would even be able to breathe on his own, THAT was easier than life is now. With all the therapy and him still not crawling, sitting, rolling, etc.. It’s not as easy to NOT think about the future. And that’s ok. It’s hard, but God is enough.

Lord, thank you for Everett’s stroke. Thank you for making things so much harder than they would have been if Everett had the use of his whole brain instead of only half. Thank you for the way our entire family is learning how to lean on You for Every. Little. Thing. Because I know I can’t do this on my own. But you are enough, Lord. And you are good to me.

I am learning all this from Ann Voskamp’s exquisitely challenging book, One Thousand Gifts.

Therablogging – Part Two

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I feel like I should give an update to my previous therablogging post (which you can read HERE). I wrote that post late Saturday night and when I sat down to dig into the Word, I found Psalm 32, which immediately gave me a lot of comfort. My bible gives it the sub-title: The Joy of Forgiveness. It talks about the difference between the upright, who have confessed their sin and are forgiven, versus the wicked, who cannot enjoy the refreshing that comes from repentance. Here are a few snippets about the upright (who have confessed):

  • Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered
  • Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, in in whose spirit there is no deceit
  • Then, I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the guilt of my sin.
  • But steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord

Here are a few snippets about those who have not confessed, and thus are not enjoying a right relationship with God:

  • While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
  • my strength was dried up as by the heat of the summer
  • Many are the torments of the wicked

I just love this part (the Psalmist telling us to follow his example and confess before the Lord, and to turn to the Lord with our problems):

Therefore, let all who are faithful offer prayer to you;

at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them.

You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble;

you surround me with glad cries of deliverance.

I love this part too (God’s promise to us):

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Then this admonition to control our tempers, which is only possible by turning to the Lord amIright?):

Do not be like a horse or mule,

without understanding,

whose temper must be curbed with a bit and bridle,

else it will not stay near you.

And the triumphant conclusion:

Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous,

and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.

 

At church recently, we heard a teaching on the Israelites and their voyage through the desert, how it is essentially the experience of every believer. Kind of like Pilgrim’s Progress, we have a series of “trials” throughout our walk (i.e. life) that are designed to teach us to rely on the Lord and strengthen our spirit (i.e. teach us to submit our mind, will, emotions, and certainly our flesh to our spirit). So brother Richard was teaching us how at the beginning of the voyage through the wilderness, the Israelites would complain and grumble when they didn’t have food or water (what I would consider to be legitimate “needs”). The Lord did not get angry with their grumbling and met their needs (in miraculous ways). But later, after God had given them the Law and the tabernacle, He expected more from them and He was angry when they complained and grumbled for water. So the sermon was about how our walk with the Lord should have progress and show growth and maturity . . . Well the following week we had a sharing meeting (where anybody can share what the Lord has been showing them) and one brother contrasted the Isrealites’ repeated complaining for lack of water with David in Psalm 63 (also in a wilderness “in a dry and weary land where there is no water”). David says:

“O God, you are my God, I seek YOU, my soul thirsts for YOU, my flesh faints for YOU, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. . . . Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You. . . . My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast.”

So, David is praising God and vowing to continue to praise Him,

regardless of his circumstances!

Well, that reminded me of something amazing that John Piper said. On Friday nights, when we typically have pizza (everybody brings a topping – kind of like pot luck pizza) and watch a video of a John Piper sermon with another couple from church (and anyone else who wants to join us!), we have recently been doing a brief overview of the Psalms. Piper said,  “God’s purpose in the Psalms is to wean human hearts off of security, COMFORT, fame, love of money, even ministry, and get them addicted to God.”

There is that word, comfort, that has become an idol in my heart. I think God is definitely using these “squeezing” situations in my life to do His work and accomplish His will, which certainly involves my sanctification and growing up in Him.

So, back to Saturday night, I was really loving this middle of the night bible study I was having. At 11:30 pm my phone rang and it was Derm Dad calling from upstairs. He said he had woken up and I wasn’t there so he was calling to see if I was alright. He had napped most of the day, so he wasn’t really needing to go back to sleep right away. I went up and confessed my idolatry of my own comfort and a “nice” house and a “pretty” glider, etc.  And, he’s such a wonderful husband that he immediately forgave me and we were reconciled before I went to sleep. Then, in the morning, I apologized to Adele and she immediately forgave me too. I love my family!!! I am so blessed!!! I am sure that as Adele gets older, my sinfulness will have more consequences with her (both on our relationship and also on her character), so I pray that God will have His way with me sooner rather than later.

After my time with God in the Word and my time reconciling with my family after that, my attitude was totally changed. None of my circumstances had changed at all, but I felt like it would be OK, because God already knows our needs and we need to seek Him instead of freaking out about our problems.

But back to those circumstances, I realized that part of my frustration was because our house is so disgusting, so we worked together on “Project Love Our House” which consisted of some serious cleaning. I scrubbed cabinets and walls, Kent vacuumed upstairs and downstairs, and Adele played with Everett. It really helped! The problem with an old house that needs to be painted EVERYWHERE is that it isn’t very rewarding to clean because you never get a clean “look.” It looks a little better, though. Somehow, even though it doesn’t look a whole lot better, I “feel” better about it after working so hard on it.

Stay tuned to find out what He does with our housing situation. =) I will yet praise Him!!! And we’re back to eucharisteo!!!

 

 

P.S. Here’s a little corner of our living room, recently spruced up with some guitar hangers (Adele got a mini guitar for Christmas).

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